By Robin Williams
Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says "I love New York" in Arabic.
The Plan!You gotta love Robin Williams...... Even if he's nuts! Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message. Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to argue with this logic!) "I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan."
1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those "good ole boys", we will never "interfere" again.
2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.
3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave.We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.
4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.
6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else(like Canada ! or Oklahoma!). They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way , no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan? "The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?' "
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
SEX FAIRY
1.Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific test find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth. =============
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow. =============
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on at dinner
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers! =============
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being. =============
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy! ===========! ==
7 . Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM. =============
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up. =============
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain. =============
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
NEVER PUT A BANANA IN THE REFIGERATOR
Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.
1. PMS: forget the pills- eat a banana. The B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can effect your mind.
2. Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
3. Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is so extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
4. Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
5. Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
6. Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and with the help of honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
7. Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
8. Morning sickness:Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
9. Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm down the nervous system.
10. Overweight: The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydate foods every 2 hours to keep levels steady.
11. Ulcers: The banana is used as a dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
12. (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
13. Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of the nicotine withdrawal.
14. Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stessed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
15. Strokes: Accord to research in the "The New England Journal of Medicine", eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!!
16. Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!!
Bananas are really a natural remedy for many illnesses !!!
1. PMS: forget the pills- eat a banana. The B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can effect your mind.
2. Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
3. Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is so extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
4. Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
5. Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
6. Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and with the help of honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
7. Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
8. Morning sickness:Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
9. Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm down the nervous system.
10. Overweight: The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydate foods every 2 hours to keep levels steady.
11. Ulcers: The banana is used as a dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
12. (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
13. Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of the nicotine withdrawal.
14. Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stessed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
15. Strokes: Accord to research in the "The New England Journal of Medicine", eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!!
16. Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!!
Bananas are really a natural remedy for many illnesses !!!
.
Things You May Not Know
1 Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.
2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.
3. The dot over the letter I is called a "tittle".
4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up anddown continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller. (I sure didn't knowthat one!!)
6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
8. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He wasalbino.
9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily.
10 Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.
11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounceswill kill a small sized dog.
12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark'sstomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
13. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).
14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wearpants.
15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.
16. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' becausein the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters,the upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case thatstored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.
17. Leonardo DA Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the otherat the same time . Hence, multi-tasking was invented.)
18. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War IIwere made of wood.
19. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
20. The na me Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never arecorded Wendy before!
21. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange,purple, and silver!
22. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years topaint Mona Lisa's lips.
23. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go madand sting itself! To death.
24. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was aCaptain Kirk's mask painted white.
25. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have$1.19 You also have the largest amount of money in coins without beingable to make change for a dollar (good to know.)26. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sinkin quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless.)
27. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, whichstated that you couldn't beat your wife wi th anything wider than yourthumb.
28. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record playerfor automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market wasthe Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
29. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a pieceof celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same withapples!
30. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!
31. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
32. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book mostoften stolen from Public Libraries.
33. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into spacebecause passing wind in a space suit damages it.
34. George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart .. "Boy, I feel alot safer now that she's behind bars.
O. J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the ONE woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and they haul her fanny off to jail."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Those We Love Don't Go Away,They Walk Beside Us Everyday,Unseen, Unheard, But Always Near.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Things You May Not Know
1 Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.
2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.
3. The dot over the letter I is called a "tittle".
4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up anddown continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller. (I sure didn't knowthat one!!)
6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
8. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He wasalbino.
9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily.
10 Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.
11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounceswill kill a small sized dog.
12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark'sstomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
13. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).
14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wearpants.
15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.
16. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' becausein the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters,the upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case thatstored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.
17. Leonardo DA Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the otherat the same time . Hence, multi-tasking was invented.)
18. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War IIwere made of wood.
19. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
20. The na me Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never arecorded Wendy before!
21. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange,purple, and silver!
22. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years topaint Mona Lisa's lips.
23. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go madand sting itself! To death.
24. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was aCaptain Kirk's mask painted white.
25. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have$1.19 You also have the largest amount of money in coins without beingable to make change for a dollar (good to know.)26. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sinkin quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless.)
27. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, whichstated that you couldn't beat your wife wi th anything wider than yourthumb.
28. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record playerfor automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market wasthe Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
29. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a pieceof celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same withapples!
30. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!
31. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
32. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book mostoften stolen from Public Libraries.
33. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into spacebecause passing wind in a space suit damages it.
34. George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart .. "Boy, I feel alot safer now that she's behind bars.
O. J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the ONE woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and they haul her fanny off to jail."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Those We Love Don't Go Away,They Walk Beside Us Everyday,Unseen, Unheard, But Always Near.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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